Kurt and His Stupid Mouth
by lalalathisisme
Summary: Julian/Logan. One time Kurt opens up his stupid mouth and makes a suggestion.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I do not own Glee, I do not own Dalton, I do not own the song "Pretend To Be Nice" nor "You Don't See Me" which are by Josie & The Pussycats, and I do not own "Dirrty" by Christina Aguilera.**

"This is such a stupid assignment."

"Since when does Medel give you assignments?"

"Since Kurt opened his stupid mouth and talked about how they used to get assignments back at his old school. And since we have nothing to prepare for, she wants to keep us busy. Hence this stupid assignment."

"Kurt's stupid mouth, eh? So I guess this means you're over him?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Fine. So what's the assignment anyway?"

"Pick a song by a 90's girl group that you can relate to."

Julian snickered. "Why 90's girl group?"

Logan shot him a look. "I don't know. Cause we're all boys and she wants us 'more in-tune with females'? Which is stupid because I don't _need_ to be in-tune with females."

"How lucky for you. So what are you thinking?"

"I don't know. Maybe Josie & The Pussycats?"

Julian laughed at him. He walked over to where Logan was sitting and picked up a piece of sheet music that had been thrown away from him.

"Let's see."

_Well he looks at me with those Innocent eyes,_

_And says it looks like you're wearing some kind of disguise,_

_Because your hair sticks up, your shoes are untied,_

_I hope that you got that shirt on half price,_

_And every word I say falls flat on the floor,_

_I try to tell a joke, he's heard it before,_

_And I don't think that I can take it no more,_

_He's driving me right out of my front door._

"Not relatable to me." But Julian kept singing.

_Why do you do what you do to me baby,_

_You're shaking my confidence driving me crazy,_

_You know if I could I'd do anything for you,_

_Please don't ignore me cause you know I adore you,_

_But can't you just pretend to be nice,_

_Can you at least pretend to be nice,_

_If you could just pretend to be nice,_

_Then everything in my life would be alright._

"Your voice sounds lovely Jules, but can we get back to **me** now?" But by now Julian was in full swing.

_And I try so hard just to figure him out,_

_But he won't tell me what he's thinking about,_

_And then he falls asleep on the living room couch,_

_With his sunglasses on and his tongue hanging out,_

_And then he disappears for a week at a time,_

_And then he shows up just like everything's fine,_

_And I don't get what goes on in his mind,_

_But I'm tired of hearing the same stupid lines._

"Ok Jules really-" Julian sat down next to Logan, and laid his head on Logan's lap.

_Why do you do what you do to me baby,_

_You're shaking my confidence driving me crazy,_

_You know if I could I'd do anything for you,_

_Please don't ignore me cause you know I adore you,_

_But can't you just pretend to be nice,_

_Can you at least pretend to be nice,_

_If you could just pretend to be nice,_

_Then everything in my life would be alright._

"Uhm." Julian sat up and got off the bed and danced around the room a bit before he came before Logan, and dropped to his knees. He pressed his face up close to Logan and sang,

_Why do you do what you do to me baby,_

_You're shaking my confidence driving me crazy,_

_You know if I could I'd do anything for you,_

_Please don't ignore me cause you know I adore you,_

_But can't you just pretend to be nice,_

_Can you at least pretend to be nice,_

_If you could just pretend to be nice,_

_Then everything in my life would be alright._

Julian finished the song and sat back on his heels, panting. "Hm. Josie and the Pussycats. Very relatable."

"Very relatable? What? That song has _nothing_ to do with me. Yeesh. You're pretty dense."

"Can't you just **pretend to be nice**?"

"Are you singing again or-oh." And suddenly it dawned on Logan. "Was that…to me?"

"Oh you caught that? What gave it away? The singing in front of you? Or the-"

"Do you really like me?"

"I put up with your shit."

"So does Derek."

"Yeah. Well. Derek is straight."

"So are you."

Julian got up from the floor and started to wander around the room. He stopped for a moment and turned to Logan. "Actually, I'm bi. So."

"Oh."

"Yup."

"Well then."

"Well then."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I do not own Glee, I do not own Dalton, I do not own the song "Pretend To Be Nice" nor "You Don't See Me" which are by Josie & The Pussycats, and I do not own "Dirrty" by Christina Aguilera.**

_"Actually, I'm bi. So."_

_"Oh."_

_"Yup."_

_"Well then."_

_"Well then."_

And then they stayed there for a moment; Julian awkwardly shifting from one foot to the other, trying to look anywhere but at Logan, and Logan sitting on the bed trying to process everything.

"Well. That's good then."

"What?" Julian heard the sound of the bed shift and turned to look at Logan. But before he could process anything Logan had crossed the room and was standing directly in front of Julian.

"Do you really like me?"

"…I thought I made that pretty clear."

And then, ever so slightly, Logan moved his face forward and kissed Julian softly on the mouth. Julian froze for a second before he realized that Logan was kissing him _and not pulling away_. And then it all clicked. Julian suddenly shifted and started kissing Logan back. Julian ran his hands through Logan's hair, and Logan's hands wrapped around Julian's waist, pulling him close. Eventually though, they had to come up for some air.

"What song were you going to sing anyway?"

"I was thinking 'You Don't See Me'"

"Really?"

_I'm speechless and faded_

_It's too complicated_

_Is this how the book ends,_

_Nothing but good friends?_

"I would have been singing about you, you know."

"Well I guess you'll just have to find a new song now, won't you?"

Logan laughed. "I guess so."

"Besides, I don't really see you as a Josie kind of guy anyway."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah. You're more of a Christina Aguilera kind of guy."

"A what?"

Julian pulled out of Logan's embrace and started dancing around the room.

_Rowdy_

_Gonna get a little unruly_

_Get it fired up in a hurry_

_Wanna get dirrty_

_It's about time that I came to start the party_

_Sweat dripping over my body_

_Dance and getting just a little naughty_

_Wanna get dirrty_

_It's about time for my arrival._

He was still shaking his hips and laughing when Logan pulled him back into his chest. He covered Julian's lips with his, stopping his singing. Logan pulled back, and smirked.

"You know what? You're right. I'm such a Christina kind of guy."

"Oh really?"

"Oh yeah. Because there is _nothing_ I'd like to do now other than dance and get a little naughty and dirty with you."

Julian just laughed and pulled him back in for a kiss.

"I'm going to have to thank Kurt for opening up his stupid mouth."


End file.
